We have arrived in Gisborne, or Cook Country (as I like to call it), it is here that they worship Cook like a god. The town is chock-full of monuments and museums glorifying the relatively new deity. Personally, I'm outraged. I now present a brief exhibition of Cook's imbecilic legacy via the names of places he "discovered" (ahem, I mean) encountered:
Bay of Plenty- because the Maori gave him stuff
Bay of Poverty- because the Maori didn't give him stuff- take that Maori people!
Doubtful Bay- because the ingenious Cook said it was doubtful the winds would blow his ship out to sea
Doubtless Bay- because, "this is doubtless a bay", he said using his superior, otherworldly intelligence
Bay of Islands- because there are islands in the bay- "I seen 'em" he no doubt screamed, drooling spastically over the deck
Cape Kidnappers- because someone in his exploration party was (say it with me)...kidnapped
On top of his pathetic excuse for creativity, he was also vain and boring
Mt. Cook, the Cook River, Cook's Beach, Cook's Cove and the Cook Strait (to name a few)
Some others that I suspect, but can not confirm, were named by New Zealand's favorite mentally deficient explorer
Worser Bay...because Cook's grammar is worser than his originality
Sandfly Bay- oh wait, let me guess
Ocean Beach- you don't say
The list goes on...
Sandy Bay
Whale Bay
Paradise
Black Beach
Blue Lake
Stony Bay
I tried to "Like" this post....i forgot where i was.
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Hey, Lay off Cook, who did more to open the world to trade and scientific discovery than any 3 other explorers combined. A lot of the things named after him were named so posthumuosly. Who's the retard now? Love ya', sweetie.
ReplyDeletehahaha amazing
ReplyDeletelol ocean beach
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